It’s time to exhale.
Trauma Therapy for Women and Parents in Walnut Creek & CA
How does EMDR help parents who feel overwhelmed or triggered by their child’s big emotions?
This is one of the most common reasons parents come in to work with me. You might have read all the books, listened to the parenting podcasts, taken the classes, and even spent years imagining the parent you wanted to be… yet you still find yourself reacting in ways you hoped you’d never repeat.
Maybe every request your child makes brings on a sudden wave of frustration or decision fatigue. Maybe guilt sits like a tightness in your chest, waiting for the next moment you think you've “messed up.” Maybe every interaction feels high-stakes—like your child’s tears or tantrums are a reflection of you, your competence, or your worth as a parent.
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. And it’s not a sign that you’re doing anything wrong—it’s often a sign that old, unprocessed experiences are getting activated in the present moment.
You’re ready to be the parent you’ve worked so hard to be.
How EMDR Can help
Why Parenting Triggers Run so Deep
Many overwhelmed or highly reactive parenting moments are tied to the beliefs we carry from our own childhoods. If you grew up in a home where you were expected to manage your parents’ emotions in order to stay safe—emotionally or physically—you likely developed a very sensitive internal alarm system.
When the adults around you didn’t model grounded, regulated emotional responses, any emotion could feel like danger. You may have learned that a raised voice, a disappointed look, or even someone crying meant you were somehow responsible. Over time, that sense of responsibility turned into guilt, hypervigilance, or a deep fear of getting it “wrong.”
Fast forward to today: when your child has a big feeling in response to a boundary or unmet need, that old wiring activates. The emotion you’re seeing in your child’s face echoes the emotional storms you once had to navigate—and your nervous system reacts as if you’re right back there again.
This is where EMDR can be transformative.
Through the process of EMDR, you can begin to understand why certain moments with your child feel so overwhelming—and more importantly, gently shift the patterns underneath them. EMDR helps you:
✓ Identify the beliefs you’re carrying beneath the triggers
We slow down and explore what’s actually getting activated in those hard parenting moments. Maybe it’s “I’m failing,” or “I’m too much,” or “I have to fix this right now.” EMDR helps bring those old, often unconscious beliefs to the surface so they’re no longer driving your reactions.
✓ Reprocess the experiences that created those beliefs
Together, we trace those beliefs back to the earlier moments in your life—the times when you had to shrink yourself, stay alert, or take responsibility for someone else’s emotions in order to feel safe. EMDR allows your brain and body to reprocess those memories so the gut-level fear, guilt, or urgency no longer rushes in during everyday parenting moments.
✓ Build new patterns that feel true in your body, not just your mind
This is one of the most transformative parts. EMDR helps your nervous system actually embody new beliefs—like “I’m allowed to set boundaries,” “My child’s feelings aren’t a danger,” or “I can stay grounded even when things feel big.” As these settle in, you begin responding with more calm, clarity, and confidence rather than reacting from old wounds.
The shift you’ll begin to feel